By Grace Bommo

Life has a way of throwing us into the deep end, doesn’t it? Work deadlines, family obligations, community commitments—it can feel like the world expects us to carry it all. And let’s be real: as Black women, we often do.

We’re celebrated for being the backbone of our communities and for our resilience and strength in the face of adversity. But that strength? It comes with a price. The constant pressure to keep it together while chaos swirls around us can wear us down physically and emotionally.

The Weight of Holding It All Together

Stress isn’t just a fleeting feeling of being overwhelmed. When it becomes chronic—when we’re constantly bracing ourselves for the next crisis—it starts to show up in our bodies. Science calls this allostatic load, but you might recognize it as the exhaustion that never seems to go away, the headaches, or the way your heart races while trying to sleep.

For Black women, there’s even a name for the toll this takes: weathering. Studies show that the long-term stress we endure, from systemic racism to everyday microaggressions, literally ages our bodies faster. It’s a silent weight that contributes to health disparities like:

• Hypertension and heart disease (the number one killer of Black women).

• Diabetes, fueled by chronic inflammation and stress.

• Mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression, that we’re often encouraged to “pray away” instead of addressing head-on.

Finding Calm in the Storm

But here’s the truth: we don’t have to let chaos define us. We deserve calm, even when the world feels chaotic. Creating that calm isn’t about waiting for life to get easier—it’s about reclaiming our peace in the here and now.

Here are a few ways to start:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
   Rest is not laziness. It’s survival. Whether it’s five minutes of deep breathing, journaling your thoughts, or even letting yourself take a nap in the middle of the day, rest is your right.

2. Build Boundaries Like Your Life Depends on It
   Because honestly, it does. Protecting your time and energy isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Say no to what doesn’t serve you, and yes to what helps you breathe easier.

3. Lean on Your Circle
   We thrive in community, but sometimes we’re hesitant to ask for help. Let’s normalize leaning on our sisters, sharing our struggles, and creating spaces where we can show up just as we are—no masks, no “strong Black woman” act.

4. Nurture Your Emotional Well-Being
   Therapy isn’t a luxury; it’s self-care. Talking through your feelings with a trusted professional can help you make sense of the chaos and find your center.

You’re More Than Strong—You’re Worthy of Peace

Sis, strength is not your only story. You are worthy of a life that feels good, not just one where you survive the storms. By prioritizing your well-being, you’re not just taking care of yourself—you’re breaking cycles, creating space for joy, and showing the next generation that rest and resilience can coexist.

Amid the chaos, take a moment to breathe. You deserve peace—not just fleeting moments of it, but the kind that feels like home. Let’s choose calm. Together, we can rewrite what it means to thrive.